back and forth

so today i had a workmans comp hearing. they are saying they want to settle, funny thing is i never ever wanted or had any idea about how workmans comp works, that is till they decided to say your problems are not related to watching one of your students shoot the other in the head. they being these people who sit in an office pushing paper work that are supposed to help you but really want you the hell out of the way as quickly and cheaply as possible. they being the lawyer tellingn me my future and family, my suffering is worth approximately 100 grand to them as she scoots off in her bmw 740...yeah whatever i know they don't care and the quicker i get that into my head the easier but it isn't that easy. rememb er i planned my future around my job. i planned my children's future around my job which now i am too scared to deal with, cant get my thoughts straight, feel like an outcast at my school...a bad memory...a symbol of tragedy...oh...and find a new occupation? try to find a teaching job in californina right now...just try...i believe i was wrongfully terminated and the union i have paid good money to will do nothing...we can't do anything...really? i would be in my classroom if i wasn't the teacher in the room. i have enough senority and tenure to know that! so what do i do now? just try to survive. try to relax after another court day...be it for brandon, larry's parents suing me, or stupid ass workmans comp. i feel for students and parents and teachers, the classroom isn't any safer since that shooting. nothing has been done to improve anything, education or saftey, but money has been taken away, teachers are losing their jobs, lives are still being destroyed.