a beginning

so i am giving this a whirl. i have tried everything else it seems, at least the traditional means. on february 12, 2007 a student shot and murdered another one in my classroom with myself and 20 some other students watching. what i have learned since that time is that nothing can prepare you to live and deal with the effects of a tragedy like that, nothing. i realize people look at the young man who died and his family as the victims and they are, truly they are, i would never suppose to imagine or try to say i understand. however, there were others in that room and their lives have been deeply affected. Other faculty at the school were adversly affected and are still seeking treatment for the effects of that day, although none want to talk about it, and the district has managed to "terminate" my job and place me on a "re-hire" list...any teachers in ventura county see the crap in that? I also believe that the workmans comp. system is set up to hurt, belittle, and torture anyone unlucky enough to have to try and use it. The teachers union? they have managed to tell me "take care of yourself" and then turn their back and say there is nothing we can do when my job is gone... oh and yes there is still the trial! that has been an eye opener and that is the criminal, my civil is still coming! so, my dr., the only good thing workmans comp gave me suggested blogging. he too sees the way the victims are victimized, forgotten, and tossed aside. simply what has been done is nothing and personally i believe it will happen again, in that very district because they have learned nothing from the incident. they have done nothing to improve the saftey of either teacher or student, but hey...i bet they balanced their budget!